deviant art

Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
Download File
HTML, 1.2 KB
more ▶

More from ~sonic4465

Featured in Groups:

Details

February 24, 2012
1.2 KB
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 8
Favourites: 2 [who?]

Views: 87 (0 today)
Downloads: 2 (0 today)
[x]
     Shivering in the cold winds of the night, a small black puppy sat alone. His tiny frame

shook uncontrollably as he tried to keep warm. The newspaper he found helped a bit, but wasnt

enough to keep him warm. His flippy and torn ears perked every time he heard somebody walk

by. Whimpering when a person walked near him, he used his heart-broken eyes to beg for good.

Some smiled and left him foor, others ignored him and kept walking by. Alone he sat, without

protection or love. His mother was killed by other dogs, they were like a pack of lions

ripping her to shreds. Luckily enough, he slinked away to his brothers and sisters without

the blood hungry killers noticing. Being the runt of the litter, (You would've thought that

he would be the first to die. But one by one, his brothers and sisters disappeared. He

grew up alone on the streets of New York.) Never knowing what love felt like, this puppy

limped through the alleys. With his tear-renching eyes, he tells of the tragic past he lived.
:iconsonic4465:
Just a writing project I did for my class ^^ Love it.

Here's some of his comments. Well. In the () He said-

"Here you really begin to move from the narration to more explanation. Avoid this. Keep all details in the immediate moment.".

Aaand heres the others! -

"Powerful and meaningful imagery! Your narrow focus/strong word choices bring the image of this poor dog to life. Toward the end of the writing, your details become disorganized. You may want to continue the narration and not switch to telling about the dog.".


This meaning... 50/50 A BABY!! Whoo!! Im so proud of myself <3
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpurplellama101:
~purplellama101 Mar 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i hate and love this because it is so good but i feel bad for duh puppeh :(
Reply
:iconsonic4465:
~sonic4465 Mar 2, 2012  Hobbyist
Same. And thanks
Reply
:iconkenni7:
I cried at this :) Very lovely prose indeed .
Reply
:iconsonic4465:
~sonic4465 Mar 1, 2012  Hobbyist
Thankies ^^
Reply
:iconxx-jade-the-cat-xx:
!xX-Jade-The-Cat-Xx Feb 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
doggie~ ;A;
I'll take care of him, since nobody wants to take him home!
Reply
:iconsonic4465:
~sonic4465 Feb 24, 2012  Hobbyist
Aww he would love that!! Lol. *hands him to you* There ya go ^^
Reply
:iconxx-jade-the-cat-xx:
!xX-Jade-The-Cat-Xx Feb 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
YESYESYESYES!!!!!!!

*twirls around with him*
Reply
:iconsonic4465:
~sonic4465 Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist
Hehehe! ^^
Reply
Add a Comment: